Emotionally Drained = Tired = Good

Yesterday was a good day. Ran around doing errands, was very busy with work and went thru the day without thinking of the breakup or him, and happily fell asleep easily (cos I was so tired!)

Today was pretty good too - went for Pilates trial lesson on the reformer machine - man, my muscles ache now. Also met up with 2 friends to chat about business opportunities (I'm gonna be in the film industry - no, not porno you sickos). Up to the point where I met his aunt, who proceeded to ask me about him and us. Of course I had to tell her that we broke up, which just brought all the emotion up again. I quickly bade her farewell and rushed out to dinner.

I'm so sick and tired of this emotional upheaval whenever I'm reminded of him and our relationship. I wish I can just turn off the tap. I feel so drained but the tears and emotions just flow non-stop.

Why? When I know I'm really better off without him? Am I truly a co-dependent? I don't think so. Yes, it hurts that someone you care about, who used to care and love you doesn't anymore. BUT I know I'm not one of those clingy limpets who cannot live without having someone in their lives. I have my own life that is pretty full with lots of good friends, so why do I turn into this babbling emotional fuck up when I encounter little things like that??? Well, I'm sick of it! I sound like a bloody whingy obsessive fool who has nothing better to do than carp about the damned past and not move on.

Feeling emotionally drained, which makes me tired, which is good, because then I can sleep without brooding further. I'm sick of this. I hope this means I'm getting over it. Fool I was to think that 2 weeks was enough to get over a 2 year relationship that ended so suddenly. I'll see you at the bar.